You learn to let it go

So our sweet little Caroline is six months old! Time is going by so quickly! Caroline is starting to show more of her personality by laughing and smiling quite often and is focusing on people and following them more! She is still working on holding her head up for longer periods of time and hasn't quite mastered rolling over yet. She can get her arm and torso turned but can't seem to lift that leg enough to roll. I know this isn't typical of a 6 month old but she is progressing at her own pace. We know that she will be delayed hitting her milestones but we are just happy she is progressing!

It's hard to believe that 6 months ago, we were sitting in the NICU with our sweet girl wondering what life would be like.  We sat by her side, not knowing what each day would bring or if she would make it....and just look at her now. We love having her home and being a family. She is such a good, happy baby and we are just so thankful for every day we get with her! She has changed our lives for the better!

So we are learning a lot as new parents. I feel we even get to learn a little bit more because of all the doctor appointments we have to go to with Caroline.  One thing I am slowly learning is that not all doctors are comfortable with treating Caroline or they may have doubts about her or us being her parents. We recently had a visit from a pediatrician who asked questions about our life which didn't seem to be relevant to the visit. It is frustrating because it almost seems that they are doubting us. To them, medicine/medical comes first. So when the doctor just nonchalantly asks if we are planning on getting a home health nurse...because I guess with full time working parents, we can't possibly take care of our daughter. It's frustrating. We are trying to give our daughter every possible thing she could need to be successful now and in the future. We go to several doctors because we want everything about her checked out and suggestions on how we can help. We are doing everything we can for her.

I am learning as a parent to let things go. I need to let the comments, questions, and stares just keep on moving and not let them get to me. I already carry around enough guilt with being a new mom, wondering if I am doing anything right....I surely don't need the guilt from strangers on whether I am a good mom or not. Jeremy and I have become quite the team and really work well with Caroline. We do all that we can for her and yes managing doctors and appointments would be easier if I didn't have to work, but I don't have that choice right now. I love my job and I love Caroline. We make it work as a family and that is all that should matter. Just because we have a special needs child, doesn't mean that we won't be able to handle what the future holds. Maybe some parents would freak out about all of these things and not be able to handle it, but not us. I am learning how to have more confidence in myself and letting other people know! One of Caroline's doctor, the child development doctor (who we love!) told us a couple months ago that we need to "go and do...take Caroline out as much as we can...she needs to see things and go places" and those words have stuck with me since then. I am getting better and more comfortable about taking her out and we just try to go and do as much as possible. I don't care if we are judged for taking her out..because to us, we are letting her experience all that she can..and to me, that is so important. We are doing the best we can.

I will tell you one thing....we would not be able to do all that we could without our friends and family! We are so lucky to have Jeremy's grandmother stay with Caroline while we work and am blessed to have family for backup anytime we need! We are also thankful for our friends who take us out and remind us to take care of ourselves too. Caroline has been such a blessing in our lives and I don't know what we would do without her. I really can't even picture a life without her!

Six months old already!